It's a long story...
At the beginning of March, I got a progress note for Kaden which explains his strengths, weaknesses and goals for the semester. I found it interesting that he didn't have any educational goals on there, but rather, physical goals. I thought that maybe I should look up some balance and coordination exercises for Kaden and maybe we could do some yoga together before bed. That same week, Kaden had his 5 year check up and I brought the progress note to his doctor. I explained my concerns about his goals, which led me to think about Kaden's clumsiness. He is rather clumsy. He could be just standing around and then boom, he hits the floor. It's become pretty routine. It's typical Kaden! He gets up, brushes himself off and says, "uhh, every day!" The doctor wasn't concerned (he never really is concerned) and said that some kids are clumsy and some adults are clumsy. If I'm concerned, he could get an OT evaluation or I could just do some exercises with him... or yoga. Sometimes I think I could be a pediatrician...
Fast forward about a week. Kaden came home with HUGE holes in the knees of his pants. Then a few days later... a different pair of pants with holes. Pretty soon, I'm throwing away his THIRD pair of pants. I emailed his teachers and asked if there was a new activity or something new Kaden was doing that was causing these holes. This conversation led to a chat with the director of the school about Kaden. Apparently Kaden falls a lot. He falls when standing in line, he falls when playing on the floor and he falls out of chairs. This was obviously not a surprise. But then she told me that his teachers are starting to see him withdrawing from certain activities like small groups (like he is noticing that his friends are noticing he is falling on them), hand motions during songs and also in gym. I didn't see that coming. Kind of like a punch to the gut. I would never want his clumsiness affecting him at school and it obviously made me pretty upset. What do they recommend? ... OT...
I can't explain exactly how I felt hearing that my son needs OT. Kind of like if you were a psychiatrist and someone else told you your son is schizophrenic. Or kind of like if you were an orthodontist and someone else told you that your son needed braces. The director said my job is to be his mom and not his OT. That's so true. But until today at his OT evaluation, I didn't realize how much I was being his mom and how many excuses I make for him until I had to sit there in silence and let someone else evaluate my kid!
We went to Baylor Our Children's House today and met a lovely therapist named Monica. She let me sit in the room while she did her evaluation which lasted about an hour and 45 minutes. Hell no I didn't tell her I was an OT. Hell no.
Anyway, I watched the whole evaluation. She did a standardized test at the beginning for motor proficiency. I watched him rock the fine motor section and struggle with the gross motor section. Watching the gross motor section, I sat there in silence MAKING EXCUSES IN MY HEAD FOR WHY HE COULDN'T DO THE ACTIVITY. I did! I am THAT mom. I hate that mom! She had him tap his right finger at the same time as his right foot and then alternate back and forth . In my head, I was thinking, well he totally doesn't understand what she wants him to do. Then after a few other balance and coordination activities I'm STILL THINKING that she needs to tell him, "Kaden, I know this is tough, but I need you to concentrate on what I'm saying. I need you to put your left foot- this one right here- out front and here, give me your left hand and place it right there... Now don't move... Stay right there while you jump and switch, see, watch me... Now you try... Oh wait right there, concentrate and move your other arm...." So I asked her how she knows he understands what she is saying. She said, "well, I've given him a verbal cue. Then I gave him a visual cue. After that I gave a tactile cue and he still wasn't able to do it. He didn't give me a blank stare. He tried to do it and couldn't." Ummm, yeah, that's my excuse for him. He can't do it because he isn't concentrating and he doesn't know what I mean. But at the end of the evaluation I learned a little bit about myself. I am truly a mom before a therapist. It's my main job. But sometimes, I need to be a little bit more objective and stop making excuses for what he can't do. There are things he can't do and that's okay. He won't learn how if I walk him through everything step by step.
Kaden has problems with balance, bilateral coordination and proprioception (where his body is in space). He looks jerky and clumsy because when he's trying to do an activity, his body isn't aware of where it is in space and his limbs move to the end of their range as a way to let his body know where it is. He falls hard for the same reason. He will go to OT once a week for 30-45 minutes and she thinks he will only need it for 6-9 months because his case is pretty mild. I'm thankful for his teachers and the director of Kaden's school. I'm thankful that they noticed that he was beginning to withdraw from certain activities and saw how it could affect him in school in the future. I'm sure it was hard to tell an OT that her kid needs OT.
(I wish I got some pictures on the swing. His giggling was contagious and his smile was ear to ear.)
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