Thoughts about 4

Life is funny these days. 

I look into the back seats of my car and see 3 sweet faces and wonder how we are going to add another into the madness of life. 

Maybe I thought that with Ryane, but I think I was focused on other things...

A few weeks ago on a Saturday, Nic and I took the boys to Target to get a few things.  It was my first time out in public with a showing belly and my entire family.  (That sounds weird now that I type it... but Kaden was still in school at this point and we usually split up on the weekends.)  So we parked, got everyone out of the car and started walking.  I don't know what came over me but I said to Nic, "just so you know, I am completely embarrassed to be out in public with all of you." 

It was the first time I noticed that I felt that way, and I was aware of people's reaction when I had Cam and Ryane with me- "Oh wow, another baby? You're going to have your hands full!" Yeah lady, if only you knew...

About a week after this, I ran into this article: http://sylcell.wordpress.com/2014/05/31/to-the-lady-ashamed-of-being-pregnant-with-her-fourth/

It sat so perfectly with me, but upset me too.  I really am embarrassed.  I hate the looks I get from people.  I hate the comments people make.  Why do people think that you should have 2 kids- a boy and a girl- and be done? I always wanted to have 3 kids- 2 boys and a girl! 

"You're gonna have your hands full!"  Yes, Target check out lady, do you think I don't realize that and that it doesn't freak me out?!?

Then, to top it all off, "Do you know what you're having?"  Yes, it's a boy.  I get two responses: 1) Person just laughs.  Oh, that's uncomfortable.  How do you respond to someone laughing at you? And why is this funny to you?  Or 2) Well, at least you got your girl!

I want to tell people it's a girl and see the response, but I can only assume it would be, "awww, how sweet, 2 boys and 2 girls!"

*Sigh*

This pregnancy has been hard in all aspects.  Mentally, emotionally, physically.  I am drained. 

I just wish I could be more confident.  Yep, I am pregnant.  Again.  Isn't that great?!

I'll work on it.

But this little guy is pretty special and different from my others.  I feel him in completely different areas than I felt the other three.  They were always up in my ribs.  He's down near my belly button.  He is measuring smaller (well, my belly is) than the other three and I get excited thinking that maybe, just maybe, he won't be 10 pounds!  He's sweet. I can tell already.  I'm getting anxious to meet him! 

14 weeks...

Last day of kindergarten

What a cutie! This year flew by and we learned quite a bit about Kaden. He loves math and science and is incredibly good at art {yes, his mother speaking but I'm honestly impressed with his drawing}. He struggled with reading but went from tier 3 to tier1 by the end of the year. 

Kaden started a behavioral chart around winter break due to acting out with another boy in class but by the end of the year he was getting smiley faces in every block each day. 

He made a lot of progress and I'm happy with all he's learned and figured out! 

First grade, here we come!

18 months

Half Birthday Girl!

 

At 18 months old:

Ryane weighs 25 lbs, 10 oz (85th percentile)

She is 32 3/4 inches tall ( 77th percentile)

 

Ryane wears size 4 diaper but I'll probably buy size 5 next time. She wears 2T clothes.

Ryane has been napping at 11:00, but now that Cam is done with school I am going to stretch her a little later and see how it goes. She has been sleeping 1.5-2 hours.

Ryane is sleeping better at night and usually puts herself back to sleep if she wakes up crying.

She has been waking up more consistently around 6:30.

Ryane has a lot of new words:

*ugg (hug)

*ack (marker or anything that writes)

*yeah

*oh

*eee awk (jawhawk!)

*poop

*pee pee

*peeeees (please)

*doo dooo (thank you)

*mahmak or mam (Cam)

*lap

*wadur (water)

*ash (trash)

*guck (duck)

*yes

*uh uh (no)

*og (frog)

*she also has a word for swing and slide but I can't remember how she says them

*walk

She is babbling a lot and pretends to talk on the phone.  When you ask her who she is talking to, she always says, "mimi."

She is so sweet.  She loves to walk and hold hands and to give hugs and kisses.  She is seriously just plain sweet.

 

Ryane is still an eater but she does have days now that she is pickier than others or won't eat what I give her. 

 

In the mornings she gets out a bowl from the drawer and takes it in that pantry and points to what she wants (mostly raisins).

 

Ryane is INTO EVERYTHING.  I thought Cam was bad.  Ryane gets into cabinets and drawers that the boys still would never think to!  My house is a wreck ALWAYS.

 

Ryane is walking 100% of the time.  Whew! 

 

She nods her head yes and shakes her head no when you ask her a question. She also answers yeah or uh uh. 

 

Ryane learned how walk down the stairs holding on to the rail.  She can also get down backwards.  

Ryane repeats all the animal names when she plays a game called Peek-a-boo Barn on my phone.

She gives Nic the BIGGEST hug when he gets home from work.

Ryane is a little bit girly!  She loves to wear necklaces, bracelets and scarves.  She loves her purse and carries it around the house with her.

 

She's a little bit girly... but she can definitely hold her own with her brothers.

 

Ryane rocks babies and says "ah ah baby."

 

She also loves animals.  We can't leave the house without her finding that cat and giving him a hug.  

 

Ryane loves to play with Cam on my bed.  They just laugh and laugh. 

 

 

Happy half birthday to the sweetest, smartest, prettiest girl I know!  We love you, Ryane Cate!

Silly girl

 

First haircut

My shaggy little 18 month old girl got her very first haircut today!!

It's a...

We actually found out at my 12 week appointment the sex of the baby, but the doctor said he was 98% sure and to not go and buy anything.  We decided that was a big enough percentage to tell the kids and the grandparents, but to keep things pretty quiet until it was confirmed at our 18 week sono.

We had our sono yesterday and it was confirmed!  We are having another.... BOY!

I had mixed feelings about what I wanted... Obviously no mixed feelings about having a healthy baby, no matter the gender.  But if I got to choose... I think I was hoping for a girl.  It would have been nice for Ryane to have a sister- I had always wanted that relationship in my life. I also had a name picked out and the nursery designed.  Plus, the seasons they were born would have been the same and I wouldn't have needed clothes. And no circumcision!!!

But on the other hand, since Ryane is in the middle, it would be nice for her to be the only girl and have that all to herself.

Cam wanted a boy and he wants to name him Tootie Butthole Baby.  Kaden wanted a girl so it would be even, but I don't really think he cares either way.  He wasn't upset with the news.

I'm used to the idea at this point and I'm getting excited to meet him... (although THREE BOYS seems loud and overwhelming) whatever his name will be! It's hard to come up with this many boy names, but I have a few that I like that are on the top of my list.

I'm starting to feel him move a little bit, mostly at night.  But when I'm holding Ryane and she's pressed up against my belly, he kicks HARD!

I'm almost 19 weeks... It's gone by fast.  Cam and Kaden rub my belly, which I love.  Kaden and I look up what the baby is doing each Sunday night and it's fun to see his excitement when he learns the baby will be able to hear him soon, or that he will be able to feel him kick soon.

I really appreciate the support I've been given from my friends and family.  4 kids is a lot of kids but my friends and family have made me feel like superwoman and that I can handle it.  Thank you!

Our Cam-bone is FOUR

Cam turned 4 on April 14th and it's a little hard to believe how fast he is growing up.  Cam is a sea of extreme emotions- sometimes happy and sometimes horrible.  We are trying to learn to roll with it and see what each day brings.  For the most part, Cam is sweet and likes to snuggle.  He is shy and hides behind me when we are around people he doesn't know very well.  Cam is easily entertained and sometimes can be my easiest kid.  He looks up to his Daddy more than anybody and loves his little sister, too.  He is gaining confidence in himself this school year.  On his birthday he got to choose his job for the day, which for the first time all year, he chose LEADER! Cam knows what he wants and knows what he likes. For his party he wanted a gymnastics party with ninja turtle plates and napkins and a ninja turtle cake from Target. He wanted ALL ninja turtle gear too, from toys to underwear. Cam is good at things that Kaden wasn't (they are quite the opposite in every sense of the word) such counting and has an interest in reading and following along. Cam gets joy out of simple things like when I bring him a snack on the way home from school. Cam gets his feelings hurt very easily and has a very dramatic reaction such as, "I'm not going to be your best friend anymore." He gets very proud of the little things that he has learned or grew to do himself like getting dressed, reaching light switches, making a happy plate and helping us with things around the house. Cam says some funny stuff, and I can't figure out if he's trying to be funny or not.  One day when I was putting on a sweatshirt and had it halfway over my face, Cam said, "you look stylin'!"  Another day he said, "I have some really bad news.  Logan called Rebeca a doody-butt today." Cam still has meltdowns and still won't tell us what's wrong during the tantrum.  He does calm down quicker than he used to and afterwards, he will usually tell us his "version" of what happened. He's "sun and rain, fire and ice; a little crazy but it's nice." 

4 year old stats:

Height: 3'5" (73%)

Weight: 36 lbs (50% )

 Missing a few kids from the picture but it was a great party and everyone seemed to have a great time running around!

We love you more than you know, Cam.  You keep us on our toes and we are so grateful for your sweet hugs each day.  Happy birthday!

17 months

It's like all of a sudden, I've got a big girl on my hands!  Everything is changing with her and her sweet personality is shining through.

At 17 months old:

Ryane wears size 4 diaper. She wears 18-24 month clothes and some 2T.

Ryane mostly takes one nap a day at 11:00.  I plan to start extending this in the summer when we don't have to leave to pick up Cam from school.  She usually sleeps about 2 hours.

Ryane is sleeping better at night and usually only wakes up if she can't find Lucy. 

She has been waking up more consistently around 6:30. 

Ryane has a few new words:

*apples

*mommy (instead of mama)

*daddy (instead of dada)

*off

*bye bye (insead of bye)

*bampa (grandpa)

*bama (grandma)

*please

She is babbling a lot and talks to herself most of the day

 

She comes over and says "ahhh" and lies her head on me

 

Ryane has a consistent bath time routine where she likes to have the lotion and then call for Kaden to come get it and use it and then bring it back to her.  When she is almost ready for bed she starts saying "muh" because she wants to go give the boys a kiss before bed.

Ryane is an eater.  She loves food and she will at least try everything.  A few things she doesn't like are hard boiled eggs and potatoes.

 

Ryane is walking!!  Yep!  Walking, standing up from the middle of the floor and walking some more!  She walks probably about 85% of the time as of now but each day it seems like more and more.

 

She nods her head yes when you ask her a question.

 

She started laying on her belly, propped on her forearms to play with toys.  Too cute but it makes her look WAY too old.

RYANE PEED ON THE POTTY!  The past few days she has said potty and has gone over to the toilet and tried to open the lid.  On Sunday she was walking into our room saying peepee.  Nic took off her diaper and put her on the potty and she peed!

Ryane learned how to ride her riding toys!  Life (and back) saver!

Ryane loves to climb!

 

Ryane says "happy" when I sing you are my sunshine.
 

She starts walking towards the garage door saying "Daddy" when she hears the garage door go up.

 

She loves to wait for Kaden after school and see the bus.

 

 

Love you, sweetest big girl!